5.29.2014

The most ridiculous #YesAllMen tweets

Have you been following the #YesAllWomen (and #NotAllMen) hashtags on Twitter? Well... it has happened... there is now a #YesAllMen hashtag. No, really. It exists and misguided men are actually using it to air their grievances with women.

https://storify.com/lilithabs/yesallmen

I compiled some of the most ridiculous tweets here.

I disagreed with #NotAllMen - not because I think that ALL men are bad - but because it's not about men. It's about women. It's about our experiences as women at the hands of men (not all men, but enough) and our patriarchal society and rape culture in general. However, I at least understood the reason why some men latched onto that hashtag.

It's hard to be told that the group you belong to is doing something wrong and sometimes the gut reaction is to say "but... but... I'M not like that!" Sometimes it's true, you're not. And sometimes, you don't even know you're like that because it's not about YOU, it's about society. And even when you THINK you're being a good guy, you might be contributing to that overall culture without even knowing it. What these men should be doing is listening and learning, not defending and derailing, but at least I understand the instinct to want to defend yourself/your gender.

The #YesAllMen hashtag infuriates me though. Like FLAMES ON THE SIDE OF MY FACE angry. It pisses me off for a few reasons. It not only derails the conversation about sexism, oppression of women, and violence against women... but the men using this hashtag are actually trying to pretend that the struggles they're facing are as bad as (or even similar at all) to those women experience on a daily basis. Yes, all women.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Fuck off. Why can't people just be equal, none of this feminist crap

Abby Rose Dalto said...

Feminism is necessary because people are not equal but should be.

Anonymous said...

In all honesty feminism is getting confusing. From my perspective in the East women in the West are ranting about things that seem very small (Eg: #Freethenipple, #Banbossy) when compared to the lack of basic rights that a majority of women here are deprived of. Now I don’t know if I can identify as a feminist because I’m not really sure WHAT the most people here think of it. To most men and now women as I have noticed it’s starting to look more like an anti-men campaign which after the third wave is calling for supremacy rather than equality. I personally think that it’s about accepting and celebrating our differences. ANYWAY,
The point is, YES, women all around the world face hardships. We are oppressed and faced with problems. But so are men. And the worst part is that, no one acknowledges that. When a fat (No offence intended) woman wants to be with a skinny gorgeous guy its things like ‘You go girl! People should judge by size! You’re beautiful!’ but when a fat guy wants a think sexy girl he’s ‘A slob, disgusting and objectifying women’. We’re so tied up in feminism, men and women both kinda seem to forget the restrictions that men face. I dunno about the west but here boys deny going for singing competitions because it’s integrated into their heads that it’s girly. Hell, girls I know who are all onboard for feminism and girls playing soccer and basketball think it’s weird for guys to sing and draw…So basically, even though the way it is now is a bit off, I think that there SHOULD be a male equivalent of feminism because helping break down the invisible barriers and silent expectations society INCLUDING women (Because we do objectify them but no one penalizes us for it)have put on boys and men, and helping THEM in the way that feminism helps women will go a long way to reaching everyone’s ultimate goal; Equality and Equinity.

Abby Rose Dalto said...

What I think you are missing is that there is no "male equivalent" of feminism for two very good reasons -

1. Men are not oppressed the way women are; so men don't need a movement to bring them to equality. They are already in a position that is above women.

2. Feminism is a movement for equality. The only reason some men THINK that feminism is about female supremacy, is because they can't stand the idea of losing the male supremacy they currently have.

Feminism helps MEN as much as it helps women. The examples you gave - boys being unable to do things that are too "girly". THAT is exactly what feminism is for - to break down societal beliefs that keep both men and women stuck to their rigid gender roles. Although it's a little bit of a derail to the conversation to suggest that not being able to sing or draw is on par with the issues women are facing (like rape, violence, workplace discrimination, etc). There are so many famous male singers and artists, it sort of seems like a false argument, but regardless... feminism has never been anti-men. It's anti-misogyny... anti-patriarchy... anti-sexism. If you are a man who embraces equality, then feminists DON'T HATE YOU and don't want to bring you down. If you're the type of man who is so threatened by women being equal to you, that you actually feel oppressed by not being dominant over women, well then, some feminists just might hate you. But that's not what feminism IS.