True Blood Final Season: Fire in the Hole

In the 3rd episode of True Blood's final season, the writers are clearly trying to bring Bill and Sookie back together - no matter how forced, contrived or unwanted that may be.

The episode opens up on a yoga class in Los Angeles, California filled with attractive young people, one of whom is none other than Sarah Newlin. Her hair color has changed but it's probably safe to assume that's the only real difference and that she's hardly enlightened or anything.

Over in France, Pam questions Eric about how long he has been sick with the virus. She admits that she searched all over the world for him. She tells him that Tara has died; she felt it last night. (Guess there goes any hopes that Tara was actually still alive out there somewhere. Of course, she's probably going to continue to be a recurring character in Lettie Mae's hallucinations.)
Pam: What is wrong with you? You are Eric fucking Northman. You don't give up. You fight. 
He references his loved ones who are now dead - Godric, Nora, and Sylvie - and then we are given a flashback of his experience with the young french woman, complete with sex scene in the middle of a vineyard. It is interrupted by Nan Flanagan who is pissed that he and Pam had failed to register and pay taxes to their local sheriff. Ah, vampire politics and all. I must say I love that they're finding ways to bring back some of the best characters, even the dead ones, in the farewell season.
Nan: We are living in hiding or we are out in the open, but we can't very well remain hidden when we are publicly biting, fucking and sucking the vintner's daughter. 
She tells them about the Yokonomo development of synthetic human blood substitute, Tru Blood, which will make mainstreaming become a reality. Eric basically tells her to go fuck herself and Pam says they need to be smart and leave, but Eric doesn't want to leave Sylvie.

Back in modern day Bon Temps, Alcide gets out of the shower and realizes Sookie is gone. He runs across town shirtless (because of course) tracking her scent to Bill's house. Meanwhile Sookie is driving with Bill who tells her that he is a totally different vampire now. He can no longer sense his blood in her system because he was completely drained last season and only lived because Jessica and James ("old James") transfused him. So he's got a "clean slate" so to speak, but he still has to live with the memories of every bad thing he's done, including what he's done to Sookie.
Sookie: Good.
He makes her drink some more of his blood so he can sense her again and she drinks a little but reminds him that she has a boyfriend. Ha. I can tell that they are trying to bring these two back together and I don't like it.

Locked in at the police station, Wade and Adilyn worry about Rocky and the rest of the town. Adilyn confesses a secret to Wade - they made out once. He doesn't remember of course, but she tells him that he had the memory glamored out of him by a vampire.
Wade: This is the best news I've heard in a while.
They are about to kiss when Jessica and Andy arrive to cock block save them. They let them know that half the town has gone full vigilante and is after anyone "different" (e.g., vampires). The scene immediately cuts to Sam at the church, as if to remind us that he is "different" too (i.e., a shifter). He's depressed about what he saw back at Saint Alice and Rev. Daniels tells him to have faith.
Rev. Daniels: Death is a dark and blinding motherfucker whether you see it coming or you don't. But a life spent in anticipation of it coming... Sam, well, that's not a life worth living.
Then Willa rushes in to warn him that Lettie Mae has gone bat shit again thanks to vampire blood. She runs in after her, calling for Tara.

Sam drives away with his vampire companion Matt and they come across a mob of ignorant assholes townspeople, led by Vince. They now know that he is a shifter and everyone wants him dead. Even Kenya, who a few hours ago was a dedicated police officer, now wants to shoot her town's mayor. Karen keeps stirring shit up. (That's the "other" black woman. According to IMDB her name is Karen even though I don't believe anyone has ever called her by name yet. The show created a few new characters we'd never ever seen before and now they're leading the wanna-be vigilantes and have more screen time than some of the old favorites? I am seriously so sick of this bitch and Vince. Someone just eat them both please.) She makes another reference to Sam being white and Kenya being black and she's really starting to get on my nerves. Yes, we know that Bon Temps only has a few black people left and didn't have that many to begin with (and True Blood has always had some issues when the way they handled race)... but come on. The fact that sick vampires are trying to murder your whole town is not a racial issue. And Sam's girlfriend is black so is he really the #1 one person you want to call out for being racist? (Especially when they're no better, targeting him and the helpful vampires just for being "different".) Sigh. I kind of prefer the Hep V vampires to these assholes; at least they're just trying to survive.

Anyway... Sam tries to talk some sense into them and one of them calls Matt a "fag vampire" (because racism is bad, but homophobia is totally fine). Before he can finish saying "hey, who you calling -- " they shoot and kill him, splat. Vince says that the people have spoken and he is now the mayor (um, Vince, that is not how politics work). They're about to kill Sam too but he turns into a bird and flies away.

At Jason's house, he looks at a photo of himself and Sookie as kids and asks Violet if she might ever consider having a baby with him.
Violet: Are you fucking kidding me?
Jason: I know you can't make babies, but we could adopt. I just feel, with everything going on... a man ain't nothing without a family.
Violet: One town of dead people and you're gonna let it turn you into a girl?
She schools him on not being a pussy. She tells him about how back in her time, men were warriors. He tells her he's a "modern man". This conversation is fucking hilarious. I think this show needs way less Vince and Karen and way more Violet. Just then Andy, Jessica, Wade and Adilyn show up to interrupt the fight and ask for help. Jason invites them in but Violet doesn't let Jessica get more than a foot inside the doorway. Jealousy... They tell him what happened with the psycho vigilante posse and that they're afraid they might be after Sookie. Andy tells Wade and Adilyn to stay there and not go outside. Violet agrees to make a truce with Jessica until they find Sookie, but says she didn't even know they weren't cool. Really Jess?

At Lafayette's house, he is rocking out (obviously totally drunk/high) when there's a knock at the door. It is James ("new James") who asks if Lafayette has anymore weed. He offers him some pills instead but vampires can't swallow pills. Yet somehow they can smoke weed? James admits he's going through some "Jessica shit" - they live together, sleep next to each other, occasionally fuck, but he feels like she doesn't even know he's there. Yeah of course Jessica is still totally messed up with guilt over accidentally killing Adilyn's three delicious sisters. James should really understand that and be more understanding. Considering he was a self-proclaimed pacifist, he should get how tormented she probably is for killing those innocent girls. Kind of feels like a dick move to bitch about her being distant or whatever, when they've kind of got bigger shit to deal with right now. James and Lafayette talk about pills and Lafayette takes a random combination.

Back at Fangtasia, the remaining Hep V vampires are calculating how many more days worth of food their four and a half hostages equal (they don't know whether to count pregnant Nicole as one or two). The answer is about two days which isn't too promising. None of them have the energy to go out and hunt for more and they have to eat every hour on the hour so they're really not optimistic about their survival. They decide to bring one of their hostages with them, to feed on on the road just in case. Downstairs Holly Cleary is leading the other women in a fake Wiccan chant to protect them, so they choose her to be their vampire trail mix.

Elsewhere, Sookie is sitting around in the woods waiting as bait for some of the sick vampires to come snatch her. Bill hovers over her in a tree. This is the most ridiculous setting. The plan is for the sick vampires to take her back to where they're holding the others and then for Bill to use his blood inside of her to sense where she is and come rescue her and whoever else is still alive. He offers to bring Alcide along for the rescue mission and she says he should bring anyone else who is willing to help. Bill asks her if she loves Alcide and she tells him it's none of his business, but she does love him. Then she admits that she feels something deep down in herself that she doesn't love him as much as he loves her. She should. He's decent and grounded and good but when they say "I love you" to each other, he means it more than she does and it makes her feel terrible. Bill says she may grow to love him more.

Jason keeps trying to call Sookie but there's no answer (because again, she left her phone in the fucking woods the other night). They find Sam's truck and see the dead pile of blood that was once Matt and Sam's empty clothes. The vigilante psychos appear. Maxine Fortenberry says that Jason and Jessica are hers because they drove Hoyt away from her by breaking his heart. Jessica tries to defend herself but Maxine shoots her. Luckily she's a lousy shot and misses her heart. Violet rushes on her and rips out her heart, letting her fall dead on the ground. Finally! Someone please kill Vince and Karen! Jessica is still alive, but she isn't healing. This is probably because she hasn't been feeding. The rest of the group runs off and Andy yells after Rocky to stop before he gets hurt or hurts someone. Violet offers to go get him and he requests that she bring him back alive. She tackles him and tells him he is safe before leading him back to Andy.
Rocky: Safe? You're the fucking enemy.
Violet: You sure about that?
The sick vampires come across two people in the woods and they take them back to Fangtasia. The leader glamors Holly to not go anywhere and not say anything. (Meanwhile, this whole time Lafayette and James are just doing drugs and listening to music and chilling out as if there wasn't a fucking apocalypse coming.) Elsewhere in the woods a wolf and bird cross paths and shift back into Alcide and Sam... who both act like there's nothing weird whatsoever about them having a totally naked conversation in the woods. Alcide says that Sookie is missing but he lost her scent at Bill's house. Two vigilante dicks prepare to shoot them from behind a bush, but they run off as a wolf and a dog before they have a chance. Meanwhile Sookie is still waiting for someone to take the bait and is getting a little insulted that they haven't yet. She makes the most inane small talk with Bill... for example, she asks if he's ever been to Six Flags. What. The. Fuck? He's a vampire Sookie. And he's totally old. Do you really think he's going to ride rollercoasters in his spare time? She tells him about one ride and says that the fall isn't the worst part, it's the waiting, which is what this feels like. Great metaphor Sook, now shut the fuck up.

Bill flashes back to a moment with his wife and children before he goes off to war. He promises his little daughter that he will return home, oops. Julian Fortenberry agrees to take their photograph so they will be able to have something to look at when they miss each other. It's a nice little flashback, but why? Bill snaps back from the flashback to see that Sookie has cut open her arm hoping the smell of her blood might tempt the vampires and draw them to her faster.

At Rev. Daniels' house, Willa apologizes again for giving Lettie Mae blood. They both realize now that she probably burned herself on purpose so Willa would have to heal her. He gives Willa his arm to feed and tells her about his troubles right before he moved to Bon Temps. His daughter had died, his wife strayed, and he lost all faith. People would come to visit to check on him but he would pretend he wasn't there because he couldn't stand for anyone to talk to him. But one morning he got up, put on his collar, and started driving til he found a church. Lettie Mae was on the front steps, drinking, and asked if he was the reverend. She told him that she had been waiting for him. The townspeople all think he saved Lettie Mae, but the truth was that Lettie Mae saved him. He tells Willa that Lettie Mae has a disease - addiction - and it's not her fault, but he can't have Willa around anymore because she will be too tempting to Lettie Mae. She understands. He rescinds her invitation to the house and she is expelled.

Back at Lafayette's house, James worries when Lafayette won't wake up because he thinks he OD'd but he's okay. He uses a drop of his blood to heal the bite marks on Lafayette's neck but says then he has to go. Lafayette asks if he is "grooving" on him or did he misread the situation. He admits that he hasn't misread anything, but he is with Jessica.

Back in the flashback-France, several men from the Yokonomo Corporation show up to the vineyard with big knives. They take Pam and bring her to the fields to interrupt Eric having sex with Sylvie. They take naked Sylvie away from Eric and give him the choice: either Pam or Sylvie will die; he must choose. He promises to be more careful in the future and offers them money but they won't hear it. They make him choose. He offers himself instead but the Authority wants him alive - it must be either Pam or Sylvie. He saves Pam and they stab Sylvie right in front of him.

Back in modern day France Pam asks if he contracted the virus on purpose. He says no, but he did go about his dealings with a devil-may-care attitude. She won't let him give up. With an ample blood supply the sick vampires are living longer and longer and they are working on a cure. She promises to keep him well until then, but he won't let her. She asks if he regrets the choice he made and he says he didn't, so she begs him not to do this. She begs him not to make her watch him die as he had to watch Godric and Nora die. He releases her and tells her that she should go.
Eric: For more than a thousand years, the world has been my oyster.
Pam: It still can be. I'll do anything.
Eric: I've lost my taste for oysters, Pam.
She cries and starts to leave, but then stops as if he has an idea. She tells him that Sarah Newlin is still alive because Jason let her go free. She's still out there somewhere. Eric looks pissed and then he rises to join Pam on a mission to find her. Teamwork! Pam and Eric back together again!

Speaking of the devil... the scene cuts to brunette Sarah Newlin (now called "Noomi") fucking her Guru in the yoga institute. She yells out "Namaste" when she finishes, which seriously has ruined yoga for me forever. Ughhhh. She talks to him about being a changed woman but it's unclear if she really buys any of this or is just playing a role so she can continue to hide out. Men from Yokonomo Corp. arrive and hold a knife to the Guru's throat.They show him a photo of Sarah Newlin and ask if she is there. He says he can't lie; yes he knows her but he won't tell them where she is. They kill him and Sarah cowers in fear in the next room as blood seeps under the door.

Sookie is still waiting in the woods when a dazed Holly stumbles over to her. Just then the sick vampires pounce. Bill drops from the tree to try to defend Sookie but they subdue him with silver chains. Alcide and Sam's canine alter egos show up just in time to stop them from staking Bill and bite one of their throats until they die. Then Andy and Jason show up and start shooting. All of the sick vampires are now dead. Alcide immediately jumps from concern for Sookie's safety, to anger at her for being so fucking stupid and reckless, back to concern when he realizes she is fucking covered in infected vampire blood. He tells her not to open her eyes or mouth or try to speak until they can wash her off. (Didn't Alcide just bite through one of their neck's to kill them? Wouldn't that have let infected blood get into his system too? So um... why all the concern for Sookie getting infected but none for himself?) Violet takes her to the river to get clean, while Alcide yells at Bill for putting her in danger. Just then Alcide is shot twice - once in the chest, once in the head - by someone hiding in the bushes. It is Andy, Jason and Jessica shoot at the faux-snipers in the bushes while Sookie rushes to Alcide. Jessica offers to try to turn him but Sookie won't let her. Andy runs to the shooters and finds one dude dead and Lou struggling and asking for an ambulance.
Andy: You pulled the trigger Lou. I told you life wasn't gonna be the same.
He leaves without helping him. Sookie continues to cry over Alcide's body. She's lost her boyfriend and her best friend in a matter of days. We will all mourn Alcide and his shirtless ways. It's obvious that the writers and trying to bring the show back around to end on the Sookie and Bill relationship (Alcide is dead, Eric is dying, Sam is having a baby and will probably end up dead eventually anyway, guess that leaves Bill, meh).

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