True Blood Final Season: Karma

In this episode of True Blood's final season - appropriately titled "Karma" - everyone is getting what they deserve, maybe. I've come to the conclusion that the people of Bon Temps are all a bunch of morons and they should all just die already. Except Pam and Eric, who should live on for all eternity, and rule the world.

Eric kicks some Yakuza ass, despite feeling like crap due to his Hep-V infection. Unfortunately Pam has been caught by the Yakuza and has a silver chain around his neck, forcing Eric to surrender. They bring them both to the Yakonomo building and put in front of a big window where a timer is set for 7+ hours ("time until dawn").

Meanwhile at the Compton house, a newly veiny Bill contacts an attorney named Madeline Kapneck and makes an appointment because he is Hep-V positive and needs to get his affairs in order (i.e., his estate and will). Jessica enters and overhears this bad news from downstairs. Bill zips down the stairs so quickly he doesn't even notice her until she approaches him. She admits that she and James had "kind of a big fight" but Bill doesn't have time to talk because he's headed out. He doesn't tell her why and she pretends not to know but does ask if he is okay before he leaves. He lies and says he is.

Lafayette brings Lettie Mae to his house but they find James there waiting when they open the door. He asks if he can stay there for the night and Lala agrees. He introduces Lettie Mae and tells her she better not "take a cleaver" to him in the middle of the night but James offers her his blood willingly. Even if Lettie Mae is an addict, they all know that drugs can elevate your senses - maybe Tara is communicating with her. Lafayette reluctantly agrees but this is the last time, so he's coming with her and she better get her closure. James bites both his hands and offers one to each of them, who take a small drink. They lay back on the couch together while James retires to the light-tight storm cellar before the sun rises.

Meanwhile, Jason is sitting in his car outside his house feeling guilty and anxious about returning to Violet after having just slept with Jessica at the party. He enters and finds candles and flower petals all over the place and Violet waiting to "surprise" him in sexy lingerie.
Violet: I just wanted to show you how much I appreciate you. I know I can be a little aggressive sometimes, but that's because I come from a different time where that approach to life was necessary. But now I live in this time and I want to make sure you feel appreciated. And that you feel that you're in control.
She says that when she told him that he was hers, she forgot to tell him that she is also his. She starts to go down on him and he allows her to, despite looking slightly uncomfortable and guilty. It's unclear what Violet's motives are here - is she actually trying to make him happy so that he won't stray again or is there another shoe about to drop in the future? She's such a tricky character - I love her but she's totally crazy - so really anything could happen with her right now.

Bill enters Madeline Kapneck's office and finds a waiting room full of sick vampires. What is she the only lawyer in town who knows how to write a vampire last will and testament or is the virus really that widespread? He is told to take a number and that the estimated wait time is 5-7 hours which will take them into daylight. Bill is obviously stressing and takes a number. I half expected him to shout don't you know who I am? and demand to be seen earlier.

Meanwhile Pam and Eric still await the sunrise.
Pam: This is bullshit. I imagined my death many times but I never thought I'd meet the sun in someplace with wall-to-wall carpet.  
An Asian man in a white suit and black cowboy hat enters. He introduces himself as Katsurou Ryouichi (aka "Mr. Gus Jr.") the North American President of Yakonomo Corp., but now that they're bankrupt he is North American President of 'shit'. He wants to know where Sarah Newlin is and although the sun is about to rise in a few minutes, Eric doesn't want to tell them. Pam disagrees, but only if Gus Jr. will give his word "on his honor" that he won't kill them after they tell him what he wants to know. Eric demands that he be the one who gets to kill Sarah  but Gus Jr. wants to do it himself, so the three of them bicker about it as they start to smoke from the rising sun. They make a final compromise - Eric gets to kill her, Gus Jr. gets to keep the body. He agrees and closes the window, so Pam tells them about Sarah's vampire sister Amber in Dallas. Now that her parents are dead she will have no where else to turn.

They were right: Sarah breaks into Amber's house and Amber jumps on her. Before she can bite her, she starts to gag and cough up blood (being sick and all) and collapses.

Jessica calls Jason, who is in bed with Violet. Somehow the phone wakes Jason but not Violet, even though she has super vampire hearing. unlikely! He goes into the other room (as if that would possibly make a difference) to talk and Jessica asks Jason to go get Sookie and bring her to the Compton house. Obviously she wants to inform her about Bill's sickness, but she doesn't want to say why over the phone; it has to be done in person. He grabs his clothes and leaves. Violet  has been listening the whole time - of course - and is pissed so she trashes the bedroom and bares her fangs in anger. Ruh roh!

At the Bellefleur house, Andy walks in to Adilyn's room and finds her in bed with Wade! He starts to chase Wade out of the house, cursing at him as he runs outside half naked. He tells him to stay away from Adilyn but Holly follows and tells him not to talk to her son that way. Wade and Adilyn tell each other that they love each other, which would be really sweet if he wasn't naked on the front lawn and they weren't in front of their respective (engaged) parents and Arlene. Holly takes Wade home but yells at Andy that she will deal with him later!

At Lala's house, he and his auntie are tripping out on vampire blood. They find Tara, in a white dress, on a cross, with a yellow snake wrapped around her, speaking in tongues. Lafayette and Lettie Mae help her down off the cross but she disappears from their arms and runs away.

At Sam's house, Nicole tells him that she is going home for good because she doesn't belong there. He says she does, but she insists that she does not. She realized last night that this town is fucking crazy and he is the Mayor of Crazy. She won't raise their daughter there, so she's leaving and wants him to please come with her. He doesn't want to go. He says this is his home and has lived in a lot of places, but Bon Temps is the only place he's ever felt safe. Nicole thinks that is the craziest thing of all and I have to agree. How many of your girlfriends have been killed in Bon Temps Sam? Nicole's mother is coming tomorrow and he has until then to think about it.

Jason goes to Sookie's house and finds her in bed, still wearing Alcide's leather jacket and totally hungover. He gets her up and brings her to the Compton house, where Jessica tells them that Bill is Hep-V positive. At first they don't believe it, but she recounts the phone conversation that she overheard. Jason says they shouldn't give up hope, but Sookie realizes that she is the one who infected Bill. She flashes back to that night in the woods... She cut her arm in order to lure the sick vampires to her with her by the smell of her delicious blood. When the H-vamps were killed she was covered in their blood and although she kept her mouth and eyes closed until she could clean off in the river, she now realizes that blood must have gotten into her open wound. In hindsight she should have fucking realized this before she made Bill feed from her prior to their attack on Fangtasia.She looks sad and guilty (rightly so) and asks Jason to take her to the clinic to be tested.

Holly and Arlene pull up to Bellefleur's Bar and Grill, as Andy keeps calling and Holly keeps declining the calls. They open the restaurant doors and find the place trashed, with dead vampire guts still all over the floors. Oh yeah, that's right.... remember after the attack at the barbecue and Sam asked the townspeople to clean up the restaurant for Arlene while she was busy being kidnapped? They didn't. In fact, they trashed it worse by breaking furniture to make stakes so they could go all vigilante style. Assholes!
Arlene: Well, shit happens, Holly. You clean it up.
In the lawyer's waiting room, Bill sits around looking anxious as he eavesdrops on other vampires' conversations. A teenage boy tells his mother that he is hungry; she tells him that she will get him some blood when they get home. Another woman reads the newspaper and mentions the bands of H-vamps attacking another town. She says, she's sick too but you don't see her doing that; the man next to her reminds her that she is in the early stages still and she doesn't know what she'll do when it gets bad. Bill is clearly started to freak out about his impending death and then he notices that veins are spreading down his arm rapidly. The vampire next to him says he's never seen it do that before and questions what stage he is in. When Bill admits that he only noticed the first symptoms last night; the man moves his seat.

At the clinic, Sookie gets tested. The nurse says she will call her with the results later, but we all know what they are. Sookie doesn't want to go home but doesn't know where she does want to go.

Ghost Tara is still running through the woods while Lettie Mae and Lafayette chase after her. They find her digging holes in the yard outside their old house. Rev. Daniels pulls her out of the trance and Lettie Mae is pissed - she needed to get answers and he took her away! Lala admits that he went on the V-trip with her in order to prove her wrong, but Tara was there... They realize they need to go to the old house and figure out what Tara was trying to tell them.
Lafayette: How many times you seen God?
Rev. Daniels: God doesn't show himself, you know that.
Lafayette: Tara did. The way I see it there's more evidence of this Tara shit being real than God is. Should I stop going to church good preacher?
Rev. Daniels tells Lettie Mae that he loves her but can't sit by and watch her do this to herself. So she has to choose - the V or him. She tells him it isn't about the V, but he says it is to him. She knows her baby girl is trying to tell her something and she's not going to ignore it. This is something she has to do. He leaves and it's not clear if it is forever or not.

Andy shows up at Bellefleur's and Arlene tries to play mediator between him and Holly.
Arlene: Y'all are almost hitched. Tying the big old knot. That's gonna mean for richer or poorer, in good times and bad times.
Andy: I don't think screwing your sibling's what they meant by bad times!
Holly is pissed because she thinks Andy is suggesting it is all Wade's fault and Andy doesn't like what she's implying. She tells him "everyone knows about fairies" and he is mad that she's basically calling his daughter a slut. Are we seriously slut-shaming an entire species right now? He should actually be upset that Wade's basically fucking a toddler (based on the fact that Adilyn - while biologically a teenager - has only been alive a very short time). Arlene tells them both to shut up and reminds them that teenagers have hormones so they should remember that they're good kids and they think they're in love. Fighting isn't going to solve their problem; they need to talk to them.
Holly: I am sorry I called Adilyn a slut. I don't even believe in that word "slut", okay. it shames female sexuality and I'm against that 100 percent!
Okay, Holly is officially the best fucking character on this show, ever. Andy apologizes for yelling at Wade, but says that any self-respecting father would'e chased him out of the house the way that he did. Arlene sends them out to go talk some sense into their kids and reminds them to love each other. She's pretty chipper considering all she's been through in the last week (and the last year even).

Sookie tells Jason that she can still sense Bill and even when she hates him, he is in her blood. She loved Alcide and loved Eric too in her own way, but there's something about "the first." Jason admits he's never felt anything like that - maybe with Jessica, but that was all muddled up with Hoyt and everything. He doesn't feel like that with Violet and he's scared all the time. Sookie says they don't know how much time they got left, so it's not worth it to spend it with someone you don't love. He wants to tell Violet how he feels and break it off. Just then the clinic calls Sookie to let her know that she is positive for Hep V, as if there was actually any doubt at this point.

Meanwhile Bill's veiny-ness is spreading faster than ever. Maybe fairy blood acts as a catalyst for the infection? I don't know. His number is finally called and the lawyer recognizes him from his book. He asks her to amend his will to pass his estate over to his progeny Jessica. She lets him know that the Vampire Rights Amendment did not pass in Congress, so he cannot posthumously execute a last will and testament. This means that he can't edit his will now that he is dead and "progeny" is not a legally recognized relationship so Jessica won't be legally entitled to anything. (Also, Bill's will, having been originally drafted in 1865 - when he was already a vampire at that point and was "impersonating a human" - might not even be valid at all.) She suggests that he legally adopt Jessica, making her his rightful heir, so that she can inherit his estate legally. Of course, adoption is a lengthy process which might take five weeks to a year. He doesn't have that kind of time because he's dying and his virus is accelerating faster than usual. The only way to expedite the process is very expensive: for $10 million she will move him to the front of the line. He tries to glamour her so as to compel her to move him to the front of the line free of charge, but it doesn't work. They sell anti-glamour contact lenses at Walgreens now so it's $10 mil or nothing. He calls her a vulture but she tells him anyone will tell him the same thing and she has no sympathy for him. As the veins spread down his arms, he stabs her in the throat and thanks her for her time (killing her vampire assistant on the way out). Now, she was a real bitch and probably deserved that, but wow, he totally just fucked over all the other vampires she was helping - those who aren't dying as rapidly as Bill and those who are willing to pay $10 mil (or maybe already have). Who is going to file their paperwork now that she's bleeding all over her desk? Way to go Bill.

Andy and Holly return home and call for Adilyn and Wade to come downstairs, but they aren't there. Rocky tells them that they left to go to Fort Bellefleur (Terry's treehouse?) because they were in love and wanted to be alone.

At Amber's house in Dallas, Amber finally awakes and is pissed that Sarah is still there. Sarah admits that people are trying to kill her - the Yakuza and some awful vampires (awful? you mean awesome) so she's hoping she can hide there a few days onw that their parents are dead. Amber tells her to get the fuck out of there. They all turned their back on her and Sarah has the nerve to come crawling back to her now, after she made her - and the whole fucking world - sick. Sarah denies that it was her; it was a "different" her. That was Sarah Newlin and now she's literally a different person. (Literally? Really?) Her name is "Noomi" now and she really is a "new me." (Ugh.) She tells her about going to an ashram, finding a place where Sarah Newlin didn't exist, and realizing that she doesn't. Her guru taught her that she is a Bodhisattva of the earth.
Amber: What the fuck are you talking about?
Sarah: It means that I was put on this planet to help people. My whole life I thought Christ was the answer, but now I know I was just parroting back a truly limiting notion of spirituality. What I was looking for I found within. I am a Buddha. You are a Buddha. We are, all of us, Buddhas.
Amber: Ohhh fuck off.
Amber tells Sarah Noomi that she can't just dye her hair and blow a guru to absolve herself of all the horrific shit she's done in her life, but she claims that she can because she is the cure. There was an antidote and she drank it - every drop - and now it is in her blood. Everything has come full circle, so the past and future don't matter. This is their "now" and she is the antidote now. She offers to heal Amber. Is this for real or has Sarah Newlin just fucking flipped her lid yet again? She may be right about being the antidote but she's also a fucking loon. She just jumps from one religious obsession to the next.

Sookie drops Sookie back at the Compton house to tell Jessica that her test was positive and she did this to Bill. She is so sorry and cries to her that she didn't mean to infect. Jessica understands and they hug, both crying in each other's arms.

Outside his house, Jason sits in his car, fearfully rehearsing what he will say to Violet about how things "aren't working." Unfortunately, when he enters he finds the bedroom trashed and Violet is gone. She has left a note that reads "Jason, Relationship not working for me. Over it. Violet". Jason says "good bye and good riddance" but he's being pretty stupid. Just last night she was all about him and now she's "over it". Come on Stackhouse, even you're not that dumb, are you?

Violet finds Adilyn and Wade at Fort Bellefleur. She calls out to Adilyn and says she just wants to talk to her. Now, I know Adilyn and Wade are stupid teenagers but come on A, you know you shouldn't be out at night with your delicious blood. What is wrong with people on this show? Violet reminds Adilyn that she's fae and she could smell her a mile away, so it's not safe for her to be out. Well duh. She tells them that she knows a place where they can go, but they better ditch their phones because they don't want to be tracked. They giggle and follow her and I'm convinced that every fucking character on this show is a complete moron.

Gus Jr. and a few Yakuza accompany Eric and Pam (still in their awesome Dallas attire) to Amber's house who answers the door completely healed and healthy. Eric grabs her by the throat, demanding to know why/how she's healed. Guess "Noomi" really is the cure. PLOT TWIST!!!!! Hopefully Eric can get healed in time and well.. Bill... he can... he can just go fuck himself...

Bill pulls up to his home, hiding his veins, but visibly weakened. He opens the door to find Sookie and Jessica crying and he realizes that they know he is sick. In the background "Karma" plays... "Maybe you deserve it, baby you deserve it"... so fitting.

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