True Blood Final Season: Almost Home

In episode 8 of True Blood's final season ("Almost Home") everyone except for Eric and Pam continues to piss me the fuck off.

The episode opens up to a bat-shit crazy Sarah "Noomi" Newland at the Light of Day institute, as she prepares to be found and inevitably killed, while a hallucination of Jason Stackhouse gives her advice. She walks out of the camps to surrender and Eric grabs her, ready to kill her but Pam grabs a gun and threatens to kill herself if Eric kills Sarah. So this is a three-way chain of murder-suicide threats... Sarah is willing to die because she believes she will be reborn as the future messiah (say what?), Eric still kind of wants to kill her (thereby killing himself because she holds the cure for his Hep-V infection), and Pam knows that Eric values her life more than his own right now. Finally Eric bites her on the neck, drinks her blood and throws her to the grown in front of Gus Jr. and his Yakuza henchmen. Slowly but surely his dark veins start to disappear and it is clear that Eric is cured. Yes! I would've been really upset if Eric died of Hep-V after all this.

Speaking of vampires with Hep-V... the next scene is of Sookie and a sick Bill laying around half-naked in post-coital bliss and veiny grossness. Ugh. Now he can die. Just die already! Bill asks Sookie what she's thinking (of course Bill's gonna be the type to ask "what are you thinking?" after sex). Even though she doesn't want to bring up bad stuff, she's curious... so she asks him about Queen Sophie-Anne. She knows she sent him to get Sookie but what was she going to do with her when she got her? Apparently Sophie-Anne knew that the Fairy Queen Mab wanted to round up all the fairy halflings, bring them to her realm, and then close off all the portals for good. Sophie-Anne didn't want that to happen; she wanted to use Sookie for breeding. Breeding!
Bill: We all want what we can't have. And if we're denied it for long enough, we lose our way. 
Leave it to Bill to find a justification for abusive and even psychotic behavior. He claims that he couldn't do what Sophie-Anne asked when he met Sookie because she reminded him what it felt like to have his humanity. He decided that if he could protect her he could become a better person vampire. Ah the Beauty and the Beast story... her love helped him escape his evil abusive ways. Sure. As if this isn't a totally ridiculous shitty conversation they're having, Sookie finds it like totally romantic and kisses him.

Cut to Tara's old house where Lettie-Mae and Lafayette are still furiously digging holes while the current residents are looking on in confusion and fear. Rev. Daniels shows up to apologize and ask them not to tell the rest of the town about his crazy drug addict wife but Lala defends her. It's not the vampire blood. It's Tara's energy! James gives them more blood so they can connect to Tara again and Lettie-Mae asks Rev. Daniels to come with her this time.
Lettie-Mae: Sometmes you gotta take a journey. Even if it's a blind one. You told me that yourself the day you got in that car and drove til you found me. You believed in me that day. I'm asking you to believe in me again.
James gives Lala some blood, then Lettie-Mae, and then Rev. Daniels finally takes a drink too.  He soon sees Tara standing in front of the house in her white dress, like the rest of them. She leads them into the house while the poor family just stands there like WTF. They walk into a flashback of little Tara's birthday. Cute little Tara, little Lala (OMG I love little Lala!) and little Sookie are hanging out with a young Lettie-Mae when Tara's father comes home early. He sees the festivities and is pissed that Lettie-Mae spent money on presents and cake. He smashes the cake so Lettie-Mae sends Lala and Sookie home, while Tara watches him abuse her mother.

At the Fortenberry house, Brigitte is flipping through Maxine's photo album with Jason, as Hoyt packs up her house. Isn't it a little dangerous? Jason is bound to be in some of these photos and won't it be suspicious if Hoyt has no memories of growing up with him? Of course it doesn't matter because before that can even happen Brigitte and Hoyt have a huge fight about fucking nothing. She mentions how cute he was and whether or not their kids would look like that. He's pissed that she's talking about having kids while he's going through his dead mother's belongings (fair point) and he doesn't want to continue the cycle of bringing kids into this shitty world. Just then Jason gets a text from Violet. She has sent photos of Jessica and Adilyn tied up and an address. He gets up to leave and Brigitte follows him because she wants to get away from Hoyt. Jason repeatedly tells her she can't come because it's police business but she's all "I'm not staying in this house!" and won't get out of the car. All because her boyfriend who is mourning his dead mother says he doesn't want to have children? Fuck this chick, I hope Violet eats her. Jason calls Andy but he and Holly are still out of town , so Jason rushes to Violet's house with stupid Brigitte still sitting in the car.

They pull up to Violet's house and Jason gives Brigitte a gun with wooden bullets and tells her to stay in the car.
Brigitte: Is that safe with all the H-vamps?
Jason: Not even a little. But it's a fuckload safer than being in that house.
Stupid bitch shouldn't even be there! Seriously, what is wrong with people!? Jason opens the door (sidenote: Violet has an actual stuffed zebra on her mantle) and walks through the huge house looking for her. You know, if Violet had this awesome house - complete with exotic stuffed animals and a sex room - why were she and Jason living at his shitty house? Violet appears behind him and throws him down.
Violet: So you do have the balls to be loyal to at least one woman. Do you realize that I brought some of the most powerful men in history to their knees by casting a single glance? Helen of Troy? Cleopatra? They were shells. Beautiful to look at but hollow once penetrated. But me? No one has ever wanted out once allowed in. 
She throws him across the room and says she wants to show him what real betrayal looks like. Jessica, Adilyn and Wade are each in their underwear and restrained and gagged surrounded by a bunch of freaky torture devices. She adds Jason to the group and starts to list the order in which they will be tortured and then killed. (First Wade, so Adilyn can watch, then Adilyn, etc.) She tells Jason how much pain he caused her when he slept with Jessica and threatens to violet Jessica with a red-hot dildo. What the hellllllll?
Violet: All I ever wanted from you Jason was to live in the world with no wits, no intellect, the world where you worshipped me for the perfect creature than I am!
Just then Hoyt enters to save the day! He shoots Violet through the heart (from behind) and she dies, exploding in front of all of them. Seems a little too convenient, but okay, I"ll take it. Even though I'm kind of sad to see Violet go (she was such a great character, despite all the craziness) it's definitely a good thing that she's dead. Everyone is freed from their restraints and Jessica is both surprised and happy to see Hoyt until Brigitte enters and hugs him.

At Fangtasia, Eric, Pam, Gus Jr. and the Yakuza dudes (who have some dope full back and chest tattoos, just sayin') sit around debating what to do about Sarah. They need to create a synthesized version of her blood so they can cure the sick vampires (and make money doing it) but it's going to take some time to get it on the market because the synthesized version of her blood that they've already created is too perfect. They don't want "New Blood" to work too well because that isn't profitable. If it only takes one dose to cure Hep V, then it only needs to be purchased once per sick vampire. They want it to be a "healthy habit" not a cure; something they have to continuously take for a long period of time. (The shorter the half life, the greater the profit.) No one can know they have the cure for now.

Still in the V-induced ghost flashback, Tara's father is trashing the place and beating up Lettie-Mae when little Tara grabs his gun from the drawer. She aims it at her father but can't bear to take the shot, so instead she runs outside and buries it in the backyard. He gets in the car and drives away, leaving them for good, while Lettie-Mae freaks out about how she will she be able to "do all this" without him. Then the vision becomes present day and Rev. Daniels finds the gun buried in the lawn. Tara apologizes to her mother that she didn't pull that trigger. She says that she should've pulled it a long time before that and is sorry she couldn't save her. Lettie-Mae says it wasn't her job to save her, she was the mother. That day everything changed - Lettie-Mae knows she was weak and wasn't a good mother. But Tara says that bad stuff happened to her and tells her to forgive herself and let her go. She makes her promise to go on living. They hug and then Tara finally can move on to the true death in peace. Um... what the fuck? Seriously... this is some stupid bullshit. Was all of this really fucking necessary? Couldn't Tara have just told her mom "hey I forgive you and you should forgive yourself, love you, bye"? Did she really need to speak in tongues and run around with a snake and have a flashback and make her mom dig up a gun in the front yard? Maybe this was just HBO's way of giving Rutina Wesley something to do the rest of the season, but it was a waste of fucking time just to get Lettie-Mae to forgive herself.

Andy and Holly finally arrive to Violet's house and hug their kids. Then Jessica goes to talk to Hoyt and introduces herself. Not exactly a rom-com "meet cute" but it's actually nice to see them together again. Brigitte goes to talk to Jason and asks if Jessica is his girlfriend but he doesn't know what to call her.

Back at the Compton House, Bill and Sookie have moved from being half naked on the couch to being half naked in bed. Barf. There's a knock at the door and it is Eric, fully healed and healthy. He can't tell her how but he wanted her to know that he will be okay. She tells him that Bill is sick with Hep-V and that he needs to be healed too. He tells her it's not ready yet but she doesn't believe him and explains that it's accelerating at a crazy rate because of her blood and so he needs the cure now. He tells her he will be back tomorrow night but she says Bill doesn't have that long! He leaves and she's pissed, so she runs off after him just as Jason pulls up with Jessica. They have a little heart-to-heart in the car...
Jason: I gotta stop making bad decisions Jess.
Jessica: Speaking of decisions... about the other night...
Jason: Oh that's not what i meant.
Jessica: No I know I know you didn't.
Jason: I never thought anything we ever did was a bad decision... except when I betrayed you... or shot you... or got you locked up in a prison camp.
She says that even when he was being a dick, she never felt betrayed by him. He admits that seeing her with Hoyt tonight brought it all back for him, about just how complicated things were between them. Jessica says their relationship was one of the least complicated of her life. He was often there for her and gave her exactly what she needed exactly when she needed it. They decide that they have a "beautiful friendship." Jason tells her that if she needs him, he's there for her. Then they kiss and she goes inside to be with Bill.

Meanwhile Sookie has driven to Fangtasia. The sun is already up but Eric and Pam are still awake inside. The Yakuza guys don't want to let her in but she says she is there to see Eric.
Yakuza guy: You are a very brave girl. Brave and stupid.
Sookie: So I've been told.
When they tell Gus that she's there, Pam looks pissed and Eric looks worried. They let her in and she says she was just hoping for a minute alone with Eric. (Oh sure, go right ahead.) Eric lies to Gus Jr. that she's just another fangbanger he fucked once a few years ago and he can't get rid of. Gus doesn't believe him so he is ready to kill her to prove that Eric cares about her enough to protect her. Eric claims it is because her brother is the sheriff and will come looking for her if she dies. He agrees to glamour her and send her on her way. He pretends to glamour her and she plays along, while reading Gus Jr's thoughts (she hears "I don't trust these two, but he wouldn't fuck with me, not with what's downstairs"). She leaves, but as she drives away from Fangtasia, Gus Jr's thoughts echo through her mind and she turns the truck around.

At Bellefleur's, Eric eats breakfast at the bar and the eggs takes amazing.
Arlene: Must be having a taste of the familiar back.
Speaking of familiar, Hoyt walks in and sits down next to Jason.  Hoyt asks about Jessica - if she and Jason are together - and he answers no. Hoyt says he cares for Brigitte and isn't fickle, but there was something about Jessica that he couldn't shake. Jason tells him that she's going through a hard time right now because her "maker" Bill is dying of Hep-V.
Hoyt: When a good thing gets destroyed that's the definition of unfair to me.
Jason: Yeah I know what you mean. I know exactly what you mean.
Hoyt goes to the Compton house to leave a note for Jessica but she hears him outside and invites him in. He tells her he is sorry about Bill and just came from the clinic - offering her a blood bag of his blood (since he's tested negative). She offers her condolences for his mother (leaving out her own involvement in her death). Hey, I just realized that in a nice piece of poetic justice Hoyt killed his mother's murderer last night! I mean, his mother deserved to be murdered by Violet after trying to shoot Jessica, but it's a nice circle. Anyway, Hoyt and Jessica bond of their parents dying and says he just wanted to try to make it easier for her.

She asks if he misses his mother. He admits both "yes and no." He says that the death of a parent makes you want to go back to when you were a little kid and knowing that you were loved was all you needed. She understands and it's not clear whether she's talking about being loved by her maker Bill or by Hoyt. She looks like she is about to kiss him, when he says he has to leave to go back to Brigitte and that they return to Alaska the day after tomorrow. So sad that he has no idea he used to love her.

Sookie returns to Fangtasia and uses her fairy light magic to break open the wall leading to the basement (from when they rescued Arlene, Nicole and Jane). She finds Sarah Newlin chained up in the basement and Sarah calls Sookie a miracle. She wants her to let her go but Sookie won't until she tells her what she knows about the cure.
Sarah: What I know is that we - you and I - have a chance to deliver peace unto earth for all time. A return to Eden. But you gotta get me the fuck out of this dungeon of hell!
Sookie: I knew no good could come from you talking. 
Sookie puts her gag back in and reads her thoughts instead. She sees a vision of Eric being healed and Gus Jr. calling Sarah a "very valuable young woman" as he draws her blood.
Sooie: Even as the cure, you're still a fucking problem. But I'm not letting yhou ruin the life of one more person I love. 
She leaves her and drives back to the Compton house. She tells Jessica that there's a cure and she will explain it on the way to Fangtasia but they gotta get Bill up now so he's ready to go as soon as the sun goes down. They hug and then go to Bill, who is super sick and having a dream. I was about to flip the fuck out when I thought he was having another flashback but it's not... it's just a dream. It's Sookie rocking a baby but instead of a baby it's a swaddled bundle of evil darkness. Yikes.

Back at Fangtasia, Gus Jr. gets ready to leave to catch a flight to Dallas. He says goodbye to Eric and Pam and warns them not to do anything stupid while he's gone. (His men will stay behind to make sure.) Eric and Pam go into the basement and Pam is displeased, as always. ("We're doing something stupid, aren't we?") He says he needs to get some of Sarah's blood to Bill because his infection is progressing faster than usual because he got it from Sookie.
Pam: Of course it's happening fast. It's Sookie. Everything she wants she has to have now.
And to prove Pam's point exactly, in walks Sookie with Bill and Jessica. Eric is annoyed because he said he would come to her, but then he and Pam are both shocked to see how sick Bill is. Jessica sees Sarah and asks if she remembers her, "Jason's demon whore." Eric warns them to tell no one about this, as Bill goes to drink from Sarah... he hesitates.
Pam: What the fuck are you waiting for? Drink the bitch and leave before we all die.
Bill: No. I don't want the blood.
And the episode ends. Um whaaaaaaaaaaatttttttttt? Gee Bill, couldn't you have mentioned this before Sookie risked her life driving back and forth to Fangtasia all day? I can't pretend I'm not psyched about the possibility of Bill dying and Eric living. Only two episodes left. The next one I assume will be primarily spent trying to convince Bill to drink Sarah's blood while Bill waxes poetic about Sookie's light. Oh just die already!

Watch True Blood on HBO Go.

No comments: