10.25.2014

The Vampire Diaries: Let's Do The Time Warp Again

This episode jumps around locations (and time periods) a shit ton... between present-day Savannah and Mystic Falls, plus three separate "versions" of 1994 Mystic Falls. Again, it's got another great song-title episode name. Best season ever as far as episode names. This totally blows "50 Shades of Grayson" away.



Time Warp 1994 Mystic Falls

Still on the Other Side of the Other Side, stuck in an unending loop of May 10, 1994... Damon and Kai interrogate each other. Kai says he has knowledge they need, Bonnie has magic, but what does Damon bring to the equation? Nothing, he'll just be hitching a ride home for free. Since Damon has often referred to this as his own personal hell, Kai suspects that he did something terrible on that day to cause them to be stuck in this particular time loop and wants to know what.

Flashback 1994 Mystic Falls

Flashback time! After not having seen Stefan for 50 years, Damon shows up at Casa de Salvatore which was then owned by Uncle Nephew Zach (where he lives with his pregnant girlfriend Gail who is always craving pancakes). He came home to "walk the straight and narrow" so Zach lets him in.  

Present Day Vampire-Safe Borders of Mystic Falls

No one has found runaway Sarah. She's probably in Mystic Falls and because her compulsion went away as soon as she crossed the border into town, she knows that Caroline and Elena are vampires. 

Stefan tries to return "home" to Savannah but Elena isn't having it because that is not his home, that's his escape. She doesn't want him to return to his fake new life (which he says ended when Enzo killed his not-so-fake girlfriend Ivy anyway). He's going to pack up and start over again and pretend that his old life never existed, to forget the past. He claims he has a system, but she doesn't believe it so asks him to prove to to her. If she's convinced. she'll leave him be, but if she isn't, she'll keep harassing til he agrees to come home. Finding Sarah is now up to Matt and Jeremy now. 

Present Day Mystic Falls

Yeah, Jeremy who is puking his guts out, still drunk off his ass, while Alaric tends to him. He brings him to Dr. Jo, who agrees to give him a full workup. She gives him a hard time about Jeremy being an underaged drunk asshole and they're flirting until a bleeding man enters the hosptial and Alaric starts to crave blood. Meanwhile, Matt goes to visit Tripp and try to pull some information out of him. Tripp found Jay dead in the woods last night and Matt lies that he was drunk and declined a ride home, so he decides to join him on the ride to tell the sheriff.

Time Warp 1994 Mystic Falls

Kai tells Damon and Bonnie that they will harness the power of the eclipse using a mystical relic (the ascendent) that Kai's family last had somewhere in Oregon.  He asks Bonnie to do a locator spell  and she tries, but it doesn't feel right until it starts directing them towards Mystic Falls and she realizes that the ascendant has been on Kai the whole time. It was just a little test to see if Bonnie's magic was precise enough for the spell. It is! So they're going home!

Present Day Savannah

Still in Savannah, Stefan explains his plans to start over - a job, paycheck, even health insurance, all the details of a normal human existence. If Sarah does out Elena, she just starts over somewhere else. He gets down on one knee in a bar and fake proposes to her, spinning a ridiculous story of her being pregnant and her standing by him through multiple rehabs, jail time, a bull fighting injury, etc. She accepts and the whole crowd at the bar applauds except for one angry looking dude. 
Stefan: See? New identities. New lives. It's easy.
Stefan expains that she will have to reinvent herself again in 30 years or people will start to question why she isn't getting older. She says they haven't talked about "your brother" and he tells her how weird it is to hear her refer to him as just that. She questions what else she would call him, but he changes the subject. I know he's grieving, but he's kind of being a dick hinting to something that she can't possibly remember and that would totally confuse her if she did. 


Flashback 1994 Mystic Falls

On May 10th, the Salvatores host an eclipse party and there's a cute moment while Damon flirts with Caroline's mom way back when Care was just a high-maintenance toddler. Stefan takes a few polaroid pictures of Gail and Zach, when he notices bite marks on Gail's wrist that she doesn't remember getting. When he questions Damon (compelling Mrs. Forbes to forget she ever met them), he admits that he swapped out the vervain in Zach and Gail's coffee so he could feed on them without them knowing. Stefan is pissed and snaps Damon's neck.

Damon wakes up in the barn without his daylight ring, where Stefan demands to know why he came back, lied, and then broke all the rules. He said he came back because he missed his brother and suggests they hit the road and get him off his "vegan diet." Stefan doesn't trust him; he knows he'll feed on innocent people and leave a trail of bodies behind, making Stefan drink human blood and then laughing at him while he sufferes. He goes down a timeline of times that Damon has hurt him and let him down... and says that now that he's finally happy and doing well, Damon can't handle it. No matter what he does or where he goes, he will always screw it up and try to destroy everything he built, because that's just what he does

Time Warp 1994 Mystic Falls

Bonnie notices an article in the newspaper about a family that was massacred in Portland. She becomes suspicious because Kai had said he had all these brothers and sisters in Oregon... and the only member of the family who was missing was the oldest brother Malachai ("Kai")!
Kai: Who names a kid Malachai? It's like they expected me to be evil.
He admits he murdered his family - his coven - except his sister that he had a soft spot ("you can survive without a spleen") and that's why he was banished there by the Gemini Coven. He's a witch with no powers and he's in a prison created for him specifically. This is not Damon's personal hell; it's Kai's. (If that is the case, then why are they in Mystic Falls and not Portland?)

Bonnie says she's not letting Kai out of there because he's a serial killer but Damon doesn't think it's as big of a deal. Maybe because killing a couple kids isn't a big deal isn't as bad as the horrible stuff he did like... killing a pregnant woman.

Present Day Mystic Falls

After he sobers him up, Alaric takes Jeremy out into the woods for a fistfight. He just needs to get his head back in the game and out of the bottle and Alaric is just trying to help him pull himself together. He's upset because everyone thinks he should be fine but he misses bonnie. She died, knew it would happen and said goodbye over the phone. She saved EVERYONE but herself: Alaric, Stefan, Elena, Tyler, even Enzo... everyone except herself, so he's resentful. Alaric is resentful too of course. His wife ran off because she preferred to be a vampire than be married to him. It was Damon who turned her and then she died. Then Jenna died. Then he died. Then the guy who killed his wife died and he kind of misses him. Now he can't even talk to a girl without fantasizing about tearing into her neck. He's got resentment but he finds a way to keep going because that's what you do.

Present Day Savannah

Some guy at the bar keeps giving them weird looks. Stefan tells Elena she can still visit, they can still talk, he's avoiding Mystic Falls... not her. She leaves and Stefan goes over to the guy who was making eyes at him the whole time . He said he noticed he wasn't celebrating his engagement - he said he can't be happy for the guy who put his brother in the hospital. He taunts him so the guy breaks a glass bottle in his face.


Stefan laughs and taunts him more until he is being punched and kicked. Stefan is basically just taking the beating until Elena returns and compels him to go home.


Flashback 1994 Mystic Falls

Damon shows back up at the eclipse party and has killed almost all the guests. He has Gail by the throat. (He managed to get across the lawn during the darkness of the eclipse and now he wants his daylight ring back.) Stefan realizes he'll never be rid of him, because Damon says he owes him and it will take him an eternity to pay him back. 
Damon: An eternity of misery brother, just like I promised. 
He kills Gail and although Stefan compelled Uncle Nephew Zach to forget about her and the baby, they couldn't cover up all those murders. The Founder's Council started back up again, so they took off and left Mystic Falls for about 15 years (until the point in time when the series first began season 1 and the brothers Salvatore met Elena). 

Time Warp 1994 Mystic Falls

Damon admits to Bonnie that when he came back to Mystic Falls it was hard to even look Zach in the face, knowing what he did to Gail. When he finally got to kill him it was a relief. She doesn't want to let Kai leave this "prison," especially when he admits he's going to kill the entire Gemini Coven when he does. Damon really needs to get back for Stefan and Elena, but Bonnie ain't having it. Kai goes to grab her but Damon protects her because "we might be having a bit of disagreement, but never lay a hand on her." They missed the eclipse anyway, so they can have this fight again tomorrow.

Present Day Savannah

Turns out Stefan has been using getting random ass-kickings in bars as a way to punish himself for what happened. Elena thinks it's a bad idea but Stefan downright refuses to hear a lecture from her on the subject of coping mechanisms. When she tells him that she "fought through" her pain all by herself and that Damon doesn't deserve his grief he all but loses his shit because she's really not in a position to be making this argument.


He finally spills the beans and she can't even fathom it, so he explains that when Damon died, a part of her died too. Damon inspired her, pushed her to own the darkest parts of herself. He was the only one who could make her feel alive again and she was the only one that could make him feel human. She loved him for the same reasons Stefan loved him, in spite of every single thing he did, they couldn't live without him. Now she doesn't have to but he still does, so he's going to do it his way.


Present Day Mystic Falls

Driving around in his creepy van, Tripp tells Matt about his wife who used to live in Mystic Falls but died in a car accident which is why he left ("too many memories"). Matt says he's suspicious about the "animal attacks" and claims that last night Jay said he was tracking a vampire. Then Tripp offers to "show" him something... it would sound a little sex offender-ish if this wasn't Mystic Falls. He takes him to a "secret place" he only shares with people he trusts (this keeps getting worse and worse). He admits that when he finally returned to Mystic Falls (to check on his grandmother after the gas leak) he felt something change when he crossed the border. Memories came flooding back and he realized that his wife didn't die in a car accident. She was murdered by a vampire. He opens up the shed and there's Enzo chained up.

Tripp: This is the one who murdered Jay. And I'm going to get him to name all his vampire buddies, starting with the one who bit your friend Sarah.
Speaking of Sarah... she comes back to visit Jeremy at casa de Salvatore. She says if he tries anything she'll out his vampire sister to the world. She found a pic of Zach and Gail in the house the other night and she said that's her mom.

Flashback 1994 Mystic Falls

Sarah's Backstory: Her mom was a Jane Doe who was dumped at the hospital 6 months pregnant (we now know that her mom was Gail and she was killed by Damon and dumped at the ER by Stefan). The doctor did an emergency C-section and she survived and lived 3 months in an incubator. They didn't know who her dad was, all that she had on her as far as identification, was one of the polaroids Stefan took of her at the party.

Present Day Mystic Falls

All Sarah has ever had from her parents, was that polaroid photo of Gail. But fidning this other polaroid from the same day of her mom and this dude, she believes that is her dad. Jeremy tells her that is Zach Salvatore. So basically Sarah, is the great great (etc) niece of Stefan and Damon, except one of her great uncles killed her mom in front of her dad... and then 15 years later killed her dad too. And her other great uncle covered it all up for him. Oh boy.

Meanwhile, Elena confronts Alaric about erasing her memory.
Elena: How could you obliterate an entire chaper of my life?
Um, cause you asked him to bitch? Alaric has his own issues to sort out so he can't explain it really. Instead he gives her her diary to read instead. It is The Vampire Diaries remember?
Dear me,
If you're reading this then someobody spilled the beans about your selected memory loss My money's on Caroline. Yes you loved Damon. You loved him with a passion that consumed you and then when Damon died, the void you felt was too deep, too dark. Facing an eternity without your soulmate, you went off the deep end, you turned into someone you weren't, a monster. Alaric can restore your lost memories. All you have to do is ask, but I hope that you don't. I tried it it the other way and I didn't see an end to the pain. I want you to rediscover yourself in the absence of the one who defined you. If you feel any hope for the future at all, then you're already better off. You've been given a chance to start over. I want you to take it. I want you to be happy.
Alaric: So what do you want me to do?
She gives him back the book and asks him to hold onto it and keep it safe in case she ever needs to read it again. Honestly, this might actually be a good thing for the show finally. Smug "I got over my grief all by myself" Elena was fucking annoying as hell. Now that she realizes she didn't actually do that, she can be happy without acting like everyone else should be as happy as she is. It's like she still doesn't have her grief, but she finally gained some humility. And not to get all Self Help on the situation, but if Elena was a real person, I'd agree that it was a good idea for her to rediscover herself and not be defined merely by who she loves. That's good advice for any woman. So maybe when Alaric finally does restore these memories (he better fucking do that - since Damon better fucking return to the world ASAP) she'll still love Damon but in a healthy way.

Time Warp 1994 Mystic Falls

Bonnie eats her pancakes and tells Damon that she's been thinking about that pregnant lady Gail. The part of the story that she remembers, is that Gail had a thing for pancakes. Bonnie knows that Damon remembers it too and believes that he makes pancakes every day to punsih himself. He called this place his hell because he feels remorse. That makes him different than Kai; it means there's hope for him.

They devise a plan to steal to steal the ascendant, find out what Kai knows and ditch him. Kai says he has a peculiar effect on magic, he can't generate it but he can consume it from others temporarily. He grabs Bonnie's wrist and steals her powers long enough to debilitate Damon temporarily and set fire to the kitchen.
Damon: I smell an ultimatum.
If Kai consumes all of Bonnie's magic i am just gonna end up killing her and he'll go home alone. But if they work together, they can all go home as friends.

Present Day Savannah

Stefan is working on a car when there's someone outside the window. It's Ivy! She's all dirty and bloody and she doens't feel so good. She says his friend Enzo made her drink his blood and now she's just so thirsty. PLOT TWIST!

Watch this episode now.

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